Sermon delivered at Haydenville Congregational Church Oct. 20, 2024.

Hi, my name is Carla Imperial, and I am an imposter.

Introduction

In September of 2001, Megan and I set out on a much-needed respite from our demanding work lives. We headed as far north as we could before reaching the Canadian border, to a remote lake in Vermont. Our cabin had no TV or phones, and our cell phones were out of range of service. In other words, we were completely un-plugged. Our first day was a beautiful day of resetting our souls, swimming, kayaking, laying in a hammock and looking at the stars.

The next morning, we set out on a canoe ride. There, in the middle of a pristine lake, we were completely alone. We soaked in the beauty all around us, feeling our muscles decompressing and our minds fully disengaging from responsibilities at home.

It was September 11^th. We were completely oblivious to the events unfolding in our country. When we got back to shore, although my phone wasn’t working, I could see that my voice mailbox had filled up. We headed to the nearest town where we could get service to listen to my messages. They were from my family, but they were not calling for the reasons you might think. They were calling about my mom. She had been rushed to the hospital after experiencing what they thought was a stroke. Instead, they found that she had an incurable brain tumor. They gave her just a few months to live. In that instant, my world was forever changed. My mom was everything to me. I was in such shock, that at first it didn’t register what my sister said next, “Are you guys aware of what is happening in New York City?”

I was like, “New York City, no, what?”

She said, “Get to a tv, Carla. New York City is being attacked! And…come home as soon as you can.” 

I know very well the emotions that are stirred up when we hear the words, 9/11.

I can close my eyes and still see the image of the planes going into the world trade towers. I imagine that some of you had loss or knew someone who lost someone in that tragedy. 

For me, it is synonymous with the devastating news I received of my mom, who died seven months after her prognosis. During those seven months, something radical shifted inside of me. My priorities were shifting. I was consumed with the thought that life is so fragile. My mom was only 75. I took for granted that she’d be around for a long time, to write her stories, to be a grandmother to my future kids. I ended up taking a leave of absence from my job to help care for my mom, which was something that I will never regret doing. After she died, all the stuff that I thought mattered became insignificant. The technical job I had been at for almost 20 years, the comfortable salary, the fast-paced competitive world I embraced every day…none of that mattered anymore. I began plotting my resignation. I could not stop thinking, “Life is short. Have I done everything that I have dreamed of doing?” 

So, Megan and I sat down to figure out how we could live without my salary, and then, during the next few years we made it happen. I beganwriting a novel, a story that I carried around in my back pocket for many years, but never had the courage to write down. 

When I lost my mom, while I was experiencing grief I had never known, I was also presented with a gift. Clarity, if you will. Of a calling so strong of how I wanted to live my life. It was a blessing looking me right in the eye, and it was up to me to set the plan in action. And it’s been a journey! It took several years to truly cut the cord from the corporate world. It took many more years to learn the craft of writing, look for agents, get marked-up manuscripts from editors…

Then there were the life distractions: – a spinal cord injury, becoming a mom (a good distraction!), losing my dad, getting multiple concussions… not excuses, just life. 

But even more imposing than the distractions was this persistent inner voice that said, “Give it up. You are an imposter, Imperial. Who are you kidding? You can’t write! Who are you to think that you can be an author?”

Poet and writer, Z. Tuckerline says, “Self-doubt and fear stops us in our tracks, blindfolds us to keep us from seeing all that is good in ourselves and in humanity.”

It’s so true. In fact, once I committed to do this sermon, same thing happened when I actually sat down to write it. I was once again consumed with doubt. I was like, “Who am I to think I can deliver a sermon with something meaningful to say? I mean, really, who am I to try to do this?”

But then, God swoops in and changes my narrative. “Who am I, NOT to?”

Please pray with me.

Dear God, may the words of my mouth reflect your loving spirit, and the meditations of all of our hearts be healing and freeing. May we be brave together, Oh Lord, our strength and our redeemer.

Jesus Being Called to be the Son of God

Consider Jesus, a baby born in Bethlehem with these auspicious occurrences happening around his birth: an angel visiting his mother before he was born to tell her that she would birth a baby who would be the son of God. A spectacular star in the sky, announcing his birth. Visits from shepherds and magi when word spread about the newborn King of the Jews. Imagine his family having to flee to Egypt to hide from a tyrant, Herod, who was threatened by this baby and determined to kill him! 

Did Jesus, as a young boy, ever have in-depth conversations with his parents about everything that happened when he was born? Did his mom sit him down and say, “Son, there’s something you should know…” 

Did God ever talk to him directly when he was a boy? “Jesus, I am your Father.”

Imagine Jesus being so confused, “Nu-uh, I have a dad.”

Did God say to him, “You shall learn and teach the word of God. You shall call on followers to be fishers of people to spread the word. In fact, I have devised a 3-year plan for you…

Did Jesus, as a boy, struggle with what was being asked of him? I mean, think about it. He was just a kid. He wasn’t asked to clean the goat’s pen or eat his vegetables. God told Mary that she would birth the Son of God!

Can you imagine Jesus, as a kid, saying, “Nah. I’m good, God. I’m really fine, just sitting here, whittling …sheep.”

And God saying:

“No, Jesus, you don’t understand. I am calling you to be the Son of God.”

“Really, God. I’m good.”

How many times has an opportunity presented itself to us, and our first response is, “Naw, I’m good.”

As humans, we are conditioned to seek out what is comfortable and complacent. Face it. It’s easier to put our heads down or look away from what is being asked of us. It’s easier to choose the straight-forward path, steering away from anything that challenges us, or more accurately, makes us afraid. 

In Luke 3:23, we read that Jesus was 30 when his ministry really began to take shape, getting baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist, getting led by the Spirit into the wilderness, fighting temptations and fasting and praying for 40 days. Was he afraid? When he began his ministry in Galilee, did he ever feel like an imposter? Did he ever get overwhelmed? 

I don’t know, but I can imagine that he was. We know that as he was drawing closer to the cross, in the Garden of Gethsemane, he was afraid and overwhelmed, dare I say, human. But the start of his ministry seemed to start with gusto as he traveled around Galilee, preaching and proclaiming the word of God, healing and performing miracles. Did he have a ‘fake it til you make it’ attitude? 

Well, what we do know is that he prayed to God a lot. He gathered disciples to join him. In other words, Jesus dealt with his doubt and fear by praying and gathering his friends around him. 

Heroes among us

No doubt, Jesus’ life was remarkable. Seemingly beyond our reach, at a whole ‘nother level of Superstar. As are the stories of Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Harriet Tubman, Ghandi…

But what about lesser known heroes…

Have you heard the story of Nicholas Lowinger – who at 5, visited a homeless shelter and was shocked to find out that some of the children didn’t own a pair of shoes. When he was 13, he started the nonprofit, Gotta Have Sole, that went on to provide shoes for kids in shelters, serving more than 106,000 children in all 50 states by the time he was 17.

Or Kakenya Ntaiya, a young woman who grew up in a Masai village in Kenya and suffered female genital mutilation and was promised to a man all by the age of 5. She pushed through all of the barriers for women, fought to stay in high school and earned a scholarship to attend college in the states. She earned her degree, got a job at the UN, and returned to her village to open the first primary school for girls, the Kakenya Center for Excellence, and went on to help thousands of girls receive education and opportunities that she had to sacrifice so much to attain. 

And of course, there are our everyday heroes: our teachers and medical professionals, our emergency responders, our soldiers. Our dear friend Kirsten, who is a PA in the ICU at Cooley, witnessed countless lives lost daily during the pandemic. She came home every night as if she had been to war, but she continued to show up every day, because she was needed. A true hero in our eyes.

And then there are the heroes within our kids, who are striving every day to be their best, authentic selves, despite having to navigate through a life-altering pandemic and continued crisis’s in our world.

Have you heard of Rachel Greenwood? She founded an organization in Nicaragua twenty years ago to help children there who were living in extreme poverty. Through her continued perseverance and returning to Nicaragua every year to ensure that her program continued, the foundation has remarkably reduced the cycle of poverty through education and support.

And we all know of our Brother Chris Perry, who comes to church early every Sunday and makes us coffee. That alone makes him a hero. But do you know that when Chris was 21 years old, he went to the store to buy something for his daughter. He was hit by a car and never made it back home. He was in a coma for six months, and when he came to, he had completely lost his memory. He had to re-learn who his family was, how to walk and talk again. To this day, he continues to strive to be his best self. Chris and Rachel and our kids are just a few examples of heroes among us, in the way that they lead humbly by example and persevere, in spite of overwhelming obstacles. 

You see, heroes don’t always show up with capes or superpowers or change the course of history with grand gestures. [Although, Rachel says that her superpower is just being too darn stubborn to give up!] There are those who embody the definition of being a hero in their daily acts of kindness and in reaching out to help others. 

There is a hero in each of YOU. 

Being Called

In our discernment with calling Pastor Mark to be our settled pastor, I asked him, “Why are you choosing us?”

His answer was immediate. “I feel so strongly called to be your pastor.” 

Man, we are so blessed for his calling, right?

After 9/11 and when my mother died, I, too, felt a radical calling to quit my job and follow my heart to pursue writing. 

But this concept of being called is not necessarily loud and clear. Or maybe we’re going 100 mph and miss the subtle callings. If we take the opportunity to be still, we can hear the quiet callings. A tug on our heart. A feeling of discomfort around the status quo. Or even, a sense of purpose or a desire to serve.  

Isaiah 6:8 says: “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” 

When you hear the callings, whether blatant or subtle, it’s an invitation to participate in something bigger than ourselves.

Finding Courage to answer the call

Let’s face it. It ain’t easy. We are imperfect creatures. When I started writing my novel, I’ve grappled with a lot of fear and uncertainty, When people asked what I did for a living, I felt like a fraud saying that I was a writer. I had to backpeddle. Say, “Well,I had been working in technology for a long time, and now I’m trying my hand at writing a novel. Just trying. We’ll see where it goes….”

And even now, I continue to face the fear of being an imposter. Of failing. Of depleting my energy. 

The bottom line is that responding to a call takes courage, and faith. 

Like David, we all have our inner ‘Goliaths’ of fear and doubt.

But, also like David, we have our inner heroes. Think of the last challenge you encountered, how daunting and stressful it was. Now, think of the inner strength that you drew upon to confront those challenges. That’s your inner hero, my friends.

Here’s where it’s important to remember that God equips us with what we need to face a challenge or fulfill our purpose. 

As Joanne read, in our scripture reading, Paul was addressing the Corinthian church, who struggled with ranking each other and competing based on how gifted people were. Paul was saying that God gives each one of us gifts to manifest the Holy Spirit and build up one another in faith. Each person is called to use what gifts they received for the good of one another, as Mark preached in his Homecoming service. 

Do you know what your gifts are?  Can you find your inner hero?

And equally important, how can you inspire others to unleash their own inner heroes?

I’d like to end with this quick story:

In 2018, when our church found ourselves without a pastor, Reverend Peter Ives asked me to have coffee with him. During what I was expecting to be an innocent chat, Peter had an agenda. He expressed his belief in me that I could have an impact on others with my voice. He asked if I’d be willing to give a sermon. Now, I’m sure that Peter Ives’ coffee hour wasn’t exclusive to me. I can bet that he was planting seeds everywhere, empowering others to become lay-ministers in our orphaned church. But for me, his words were felt deeply. He unleashed in me a belief that I, too, could be fishers of men.

On May of that year, I gave my first sermon, entitled “The Freedom of Forgiveness.” 

Becoming a hero is a journey, not a destination. It requires us to be intentional and aware of our actions and their impact. It requires courage, faith and an acceptance of our imperfections. And a reminder, we are not alone in this journey. Remember, when Jesus first began his ministry, he prayed for 40-days in the wilderness and gathered his apostles. He prayed. And gathered his friends.  

When we create a culture of encouragement and support, lift others up, empower people, and help them find their calling, their inner-hero, we all win. 

So, friends, I say to you, the next time you find yourself saying, “Who am I to try this thing that feels bigger than myself”, hear the encouraging words of God saying, “Who are you, not to?”

Hi, my name is Carla Imperial, and I am a writer.

Amen.